Well, well, well, here we are at the dawn of the Winter Solstice. Yes, breathe in that cold, frigid icy air, mmmm, it’s so nice! I wouldn’t say it is frigid in Los Angeles right now, but Winter has definitely dropped onto our dusty and drought laden wonderland in the form of rain, wind, and both brisk and blinding sunshine. I am loving every refreshing second of it!

Another reason why I am feeling the Tide of Yule stronger this season, is that I have settled into the self-actualization that everything I’ve been chasing for the last decade, or so, has been gently idling inside me all along.

I think I’ve always known it was closer than I imagined. Still, I assumed reaching it required a harder path, one that sprawled out versus turning in, but intuition can’t be fooled; it possesses a level of endurance that can outlast any stubborn mortal.

I just needed to stop searching to be lost, and dance with my gussied up true self that was waiting patiently for my attention.

This revelation reminds me of that scene in Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold finally solves his “Exterior Illumination” problem. For a couple of days he worked tirelessly stapling thousands of “twinkly lights” ALL OVER his house in order to prove he was worthy of his family’s praise and attention, but when the drumroll finally came, it dropped in a thud when the lights did not turn on.

And then they did.

My light-switch moment flipped on during a ten-mile tempo run last Sunday. I decided I was going to run how I knew I could, faster and smoother than I had been running for months, not pushing too hard, just leaning forward, breathing deep, and allowing my legs to do their thing. And, wow, did it feel good.

For the last few years I’ve been tied down by worries of hurting my toe (more), inflaming my hamstring, not living up to the level of runner I was for a minute (or two), and the expectations of the triathlete I wanted to be. Meanwhile, I simply couldn’t (or wouldn’t) enjoy who I actually was, a person who loved to run.

Above anything else.

And not because I was ever the best at it, but because I felt my best while doing it.

True, it was an agonizing joy to pursue a dream of becoming one of the “best” in triathlon; a part of me believed it was possible, a part of me believed I was delusional, but every part of me is glad that I tried.

The Alchemy of it all is that swimming my lungs out and riding my legs off all of these years in the pursuit to become a great triathlete has made me a better runner. Big lungs and strong legs are a vital combo for long distance running, so although I do still have a lively year of racing triathlons lined up for 2022, (COVID pending), my competitive goals have shifted back to running.

Alas, I believe taking the hard way (eventually) led me to where I wanted to go, winding me through a maze to meet myself back where I started, staring and smiling at who I always was, and who I’ve always wanted to be, a tall redhead who loves running marathons as fast as she can.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend, and to celebrate Jesus’ upcoming birthday this Saturday, the song and video choice is another spin of my FAVORITE Christmas tune of ALL TIME!! This song is a sentimental favorite because it reminds me of riding shotgun next to my brother, Peter, in his old green Ford Explorer on the 605 freeway driving from our Mom’s to our Dad’s house just after cracking Winter break. Furthermore, the header photo captured above is when I finally heard this joyous song on the radio this morning on my way to the pool. I. Love. IT!