“There’s a lot of good waiting for you on the other side of tired.” – Gil Reyes
On paper, I should be tired, but I haven’t felt this energized since my late-thirties.
In the middle of December, I called a "time-out" on triathlon training. I felt like I had been holding on too tight for too long, and instead of improving, I was fumbling my way through workouts, and not really sure if it was worth the time and effort I was devoting to it. So, for about five days I exercised mildly, walked around my town for hours, listened to podcasts, meditated, read a few books, wrote some words, and felt better, but still foggy and heavy at the end of it. It turned out taking time to relax did not help me feel relaxed; something was still off, but I had faith that I would find my rhythm once I started moving again.
In not-so-surprising, yet hilariously daunting fashion, I was tasked by my coach to run seventy miles the final week of 2019. The miles didn’t need to be fast, just many. Although, I hadn’t run that much, in I don’t know how long, I was excited to take on the challenge, I had confidence Hillary knew what she was doing, and I was simply curious how it would go. By the end of the week, I ran seventy-one miles, was still in one piece, but something was amiss. It was like I finally unlocked the door to my house after being stuck in the rain for hours, but still couldn’t find the switch on the wall to flip the lights on.
Then last Saturday, I ran around a track as fast as I could. It was awesome. Even though I felt stiff, and frankly just awful the first half of the workout, once I realized that my foot didn’t bother me, my lungs didn’t bother me, and my ego was stripped away, I slipped into a familiar groove, and just let myself run.
I was almost back on track.
But, not quite.
Moments before my first "real deal" LA Marathon hard run on Monday.
Then on Monday afternoon, I tapped into my "Marathoner Super-Power" for about 0:27 seconds.
I hadn’t felt it in over a year, and almost forgot it existed, let alone what it felt like, or how to reach it, and then I followed my instinct, and suddenly it was flowing through me. I was about midway through a long, hard run, holding that space just beyond uncomfortable, where the magic of speed and endurance connect, and I remembered, “I know this feeling!” It’s the same one I felt on a handful of training runs over the years, and throughout many miles raced in Boston, Los Angeles, and New York, but it is a feeling I can only tap into once I am beyond physical fatigue, when I keep going even though my legs are sore, and shoulders are stinging, because there is a lot of good waiting on the other side of tired.
Therefore, after taking a mini-sabbatical of structured training last month, and then cannon-balling into the deep end when I was back at it, I realized I am at my best in spirit, soul, heart, and mind when my body is in the thick of physical struggle, because it’s within those moments that I feel mentally and emotionally refreshed.
It’s the struggle that makes me stronger.
I am thrilled to be starting off 2020 in a positive and healthy head space, because I have an action-packed schedule the next few months kicking off with TeamHPB Winter Smash camp next week, (gulp), the Los Angeles Marathon on March 8th, Ironman Oceanside, 70.3 on April 4th, and Ironman St. George on May 2nd.
I don’t have my heart pinned on the outcome of any race, but I do promise to enjoy the effort I will put in everyday leading up to each starting line, and I look forward to sharing every story that unfolds, (before, during, and after), reaching each finish line.
Happy New Year!
The song choice this week is a new and very timely tune from Coldplay, Everyday Life. The song and video are beautiful. Enjoy.:)