It's a mix of courage and discouragement that makes life interesting, visceral, and joyful.

There is no need to bury the lead, my 10K on the track did not pan out like I wanted it to.

It was kind of okay, I guess? I did it, and ran pretty close to the pace I was after, but the conditions were not ideal, both in feel and setting. I was tired from a short night of sleep, and the middle-aged male soccer team that was playing a game on the infield overflowed into Lane 1 and Lane 2 of the track, so I ran 6.35 miles vs. 6.2, and then the wind shifted after four miles from annoying to downright unhelpful.

And I was nervous.

I kept having the inner dialogue ping-pong in my head:

“Why are you doing this?
This doesn’t feel right.
Keep going.
Hey, that lap was okay?
Oh, cool, Dad’s here!”

**Finish line feels with my dynamite cheer squad.**

Thankfully, my hamstrings felt healthy the entire time, and I strung together the quickest 6+ clump of miles I have run in years; they just weren’t very fast.

Or, not as fast as I wanted them to be, and/or trained for them to be.

Nevertheless, I still savored the steady burn of effort that flooded my legs and lungs all twenty-five laps, satisfied with the failure of the attempt, rather than disappointed by not risking an attempt at all.

**About three minutes slower than I wanted.**

I put in the work, I tried, I failed, and I can’t wait to try again.

To be continued...

The song and vivid video choice this week is a new tune from T. Swift's DJ ex-BF, Calvin Harris, featuring my pals JT, Pharell, and Halsey, Stay With Me.