The Santa Barbara Triathlon was a unique race. I swam pretty well, I rode just fine, and ran better than expected, but ever since I crossed the finish line it has taken a bounty of patience and positivity to think about it with a smile on my face and fend off the pit of disappointment in my stomach.
Emerging from the 1-mile swim course over a minute faster than in previous races in 2017 and 2019, 27:45min. #progress
True, I was beyond thrilled with how the race unfolded. It was so FUN to feel so GOOD the entire 3:30+ hours I was swimming, riding, and running all over Santa Barbara.
My new fit on "Big Red" felt really good all 34 miles of the bike. 1:47:51 hrs.
I felt confident that I was having a good day and crossed the finish line ecstatic!
I thought that I placed 4th or 5th overall female, and high in my age group, (an assumption I made just by using the naive combo of vision and math), but I quickly discovered my timing chip tapped out at mile 5 of the run, and I subsequently had no concrete proof of any of it.
Alas, no hardware, no podium photos.
Instead, I was left with only the internal knowing that I love and am still pretty decent at moving my body, while concurrently feeling cheated of my chance to have something to show for it.
Why couldn’t the absolute joy and pride I felt during the last few miles of the race, when I was pressing my effort with each step, not giving up, bumping up the pace versus slowing down, have been enough for me to let the timing mishap go?
Would it be more civilized, or mature, if I didn’t let it bother me?
But it did.
Therefore, I contacted the race directors on Monday to alert them of the mistake. I didn't want or need any awards, but rather acknowledgement that I was there, that I didn't hallucinate the amazing experience, and for the timing company to be aware that their equipment had a glitch. Thankfully, a rep from EnMotive, (the timing company), reached out immediately. Next, we bantered back and forth about how to piece together an “official” finish time for me by adding up the splits the chip did register (the entire race up until mile 5 of the run) with my own Garmin RUN .fit file which was a total number of minutes that was an approximation at best, yet has now been added manually into the results in order to validate that completed the race, that I competed, it wasn't a dream.
Nevertheless, although I appreciate their efforts to make it right, that adjusted time isn’t right, and I simply don’t feel right about any of it.
Therefore, should I have stayed quiet, and just let it go entirely?
Oh, hey, there I am. Run time: 1:12:11, and overall finish: 3:34:53??
The truth is more nuanced.
The fact is I didn’t want to grapple with any of it; both the logistics of communicating the mistake, and the raw emotions that the mistake stirred up. But now I know for sure that when I show up to a race, (after paying for it, training for it, and planning my life around it), I race to compete, to be my best no matter where I shake out among the field, and most of all, to make my effort count.
The video choice today is not a song, but rather a poignant scene that drives home the theme of this post. Take it away, Jack.:)